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22 Clues Pickle and Crackie should call it a night...

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22 Clues Pickle and Crackie should call it a night...

Postby Crackie » May 4th, 2005, 12:37 pm

1. We have absolutely no idea where our purses are.

2. Pickle believes that dancing with her arms overhead and wiggling her bootay while yelling WOO-HOO is truly the sexiest dance move around.

3. We suddenly decided we wanted to kick some snowbeasts @ss' because they were taking too long to finish a game of pool and honestly
believed we could do it- without being sat on...

4. In Pickle's last trip to "pee" she realized she looked more like Tammy Faye Baker than the goddess she was just four hours ago.

5 . I drop my 3:00 a.m. scrambled eggs, cheese and ham on the floor pick it up and carry on eating it.

6. Pickle starts crying and telling everyone she sees that she loves them sooooo much.

7. There are less than three hours before Crackie is due to start work.

8. Pickle found a deeper/spiritual side to the dog groomer sitting next to her.

9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher.

10 . The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table
and sing " Ferry Cross the Mersey " becomes strangely overwhelming.

11. Our eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so we
keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.

12. We've suddenly taken up doing shots and become really good at it.

13. I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me by giving me
just Redbull and cranberry juice, but that's just because I can no longer taste the Absolute. ( ha ha ha )

14. I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor of Pickle's old Duplex...

15. Pickle starts every conversation with a booming, "DON'T take this the WRONG WAY but...you have something on your face...let me wipe it off for you...... " LMFAO

16. Pickle fails to notice that the toilet lid's down when she sits on it.

17. Our hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.

18. Pickle's so tired she just sits on the floor (wherever she happens to be standing) and takes a quick nap.

19. I begin leaving the buttons open on my button fly pants to cut
down on the time I'm in the bathroom away from my drink.

20. PC takes her shoes off because she believes it's their fault that she's having problems walking straight.

21. Every check Crackie writes out looks like a kindergartener was scribbling on her checks.

22. I have a feeling that I am going to find a ring somewhere tomorrow...again..... LMFAO :E
If Jager was water and I was a duck,
I'd swim to the bottom and never come up.
But Jager's not water and I'm not a duck,
So slide me the bottle and shut the f*** up!
Crackie
Member
 
Posts: 256
Joined: November 21st, 2003, 2:56 pm
Location: Naughtalie Island

22 Clues Pickle and Crackie should call it a night...

Postby snofisher » May 4th, 2005, 12:45 pm

here are some tips for ya before y'all go out next time. lol
HOW TO TELL IF A GUY IS GOOD IN BED
before you hop in the sack

Ladies, before you date that hunky guy you met last night, read the 10 vital signs that will reveal if he's a STUD or a DUD in bed.

The list was compiled from a dozen different American and European studies of male sexual behavior and was edited by Weekly World News' own crack medical reporting team.

Here's what you must look for to determine if the man of your dreams will bring you bliss or the blahs:

DUD: If the ring finger of his right hand is the same length or shorter than his forefinger, dump him fast. This guy has all the sex drive of a castrated camel.

STUD: Look for square palms and plenty of hair on the back of your guy's hands. Scientists say this means he's probably descended from the ancient Neanderthals and will be a tireless animal in the sack.

DUD: Does he have a huge beer belly? If he does, get rid of him. All he'll do is squash you into the mattress like a bug and the pleasure will be all his, not yours.

STUD: If your prospective date is balding, get ready to have a good time. This guy's testosterone level is through the roof and he'll keep going all night like the Energizer Bunny.

DUD: Steer clear of a man who talks constantly about his dear old mom. A mama's boy is useless in bed. Given the choice of sex partners, he'll choose a nurse over a nympho every time -- so what does that tell you?

STUD: Go for the guy with a real big nose. A huge hooter means he's big in other places.

DUD: Drop a man whose eyes are set too close together. He'll turn in an average performance in bed, but will tire easily. Poor thing, you don't want to be lying there, still in heat, while he snores like a ruptured pig at your side.

STUD: Wide-set eyes are a different matter entirely. This guy is an excellent lover and he will go out of his way to pleasure you. If you like to experiment and get kinky, he's the stud for you.

DUD: As a general rule, steer clear of lawyers. They'll bore you to death in the sack, and if you try to get too kinky they'll wind up suing you for sexual malpractice.

STUD: Cops are very good in bed and they have wonderful ways of using their handcuffs. Be warned though, never allow him to bring his pistol to bed. One gun in the sack is quite enough.

Follow these tips faithfully and you'll enjoy your sex life enormously. But all the studies warn not to have sex on a first date -- you don't want your stud to think you're easy.
snofisher
Member
 
Posts: 852
Joined: October 28th, 2001, 7:50 am
Location: right here...

22 Clues Pickle and Crackie should call it a night...

Postby snofisher » May 4th, 2005, 12:45 pm

here are some tips for ya before y'all go out next time. lol
HOW TO TELL IF A GUY IS GOOD IN BED
before you hop in the sack

Ladies, before you date that hunky guy you met last night, read the 10 vital signs that will reveal if he's a STUD or a DUD in bed.

The list was compiled from a dozen different American and European studies of male sexual behavior and was edited by Weekly World News' own crack medical reporting team.

Here's what you must look for to determine if the man of your dreams will bring you bliss or the blahs:

DUD: If the ring finger of his right hand is the same length or shorter than his forefinger, dump him fast. This guy has all the sex drive of a castrated camel.

STUD: Look for square palms and plenty of hair on the back of your guy's hands. Scientists say this means he's probably descended from the ancient Neanderthals and will be a tireless animal in the sack.

DUD: Does he have a huge beer belly? If he does, get rid of him. All he'll do is squash you into the mattress like a bug and the pleasure will be all his, not yours.

STUD: If your prospective date is balding, get ready to have a good time. This guy's testosterone level is through the roof and he'll keep going all night like the Energizer Bunny.

DUD: Steer clear of a man who talks constantly about his dear old mom. A mama's boy is useless in bed. Given the choice of sex partners, he'll choose a nurse over a nympho every time -- so what does that tell you?

STUD: Go for the guy with a real big nose. A huge hooter means he's big in other places.

DUD: Drop a man whose eyes are set too close together. He'll turn in an average performance in bed, but will tire easily. Poor thing, you don't want to be lying there, still in heat, while he snores like a ruptured pig at your side.

STUD: Wide-set eyes are a different matter entirely. This guy is an excellent lover and he will go out of his way to pleasure you. If you like to experiment and get kinky, he's the stud for you.

DUD: As a general rule, steer clear of lawyers. They'll bore you to death in the sack, and if you try to get too kinky they'll wind up suing you for sexual malpractice.

STUD: Cops are very good in bed and they have wonderful ways of using their handcuffs. Be warned though, never allow him to bring his pistol to bed. One gun in the sack is quite enough.

Follow these tips faithfully and you'll enjoy your sex life enormously. But all the studies warn not to have sex on a first date -- you don't want your stud to think you're easy.
snofisher
Member
 
Posts: 852
Joined: October 28th, 2001, 7:50 am
Location: right here...


22 Clues Pickle and Crackie should call it a night...

Postby Crackie » May 4th, 2005, 1:04 pm

" STUD: Cops are very good in bed and they have wonderful ways of using their handcuffs. Be warned though, never allow him to bring his pistol to bed. One gun in the sack is quite enough. "


I beg to differ.
If Jager was water and I was a duck,
I'd swim to the bottom and never come up.
But Jager's not water and I'm not a duck,
So slide me the bottle and shut the f*** up!
Crackie
Member
 
Posts: 256
Joined: November 21st, 2003, 2:56 pm
Location: Naughtalie Island

22 Clues Pickle and Crackie should call it a night...

Postby Crackie » May 4th, 2005, 1:04 pm

" STUD: Cops are very good in bed and they have wonderful ways of using their handcuffs. Be warned though, never allow him to bring his pistol to bed. One gun in the sack is quite enough. "


I beg to differ.
If Jager was water and I was a duck,
I'd swim to the bottom and never come up.
But Jager's not water and I'm not a duck,
So slide me the bottle and shut the f*** up!
Crackie
Member
 
Posts: 256
Joined: November 21st, 2003, 2:56 pm
Location: Naughtalie Island

22 Clues Pickle and Crackie should call it a night...

Postby FirstTimeCatMan » May 4th, 2005, 2:31 pm

[quote]Cops are very good in bed[/quote]
[quote]One gun in the sack is quite enough.[/quote]

[quote]I beg to differ.[/quote]

Ummmm Crackie, which one are you differ`n on????
Yamaha sleds, the biggest black eye to carry the Yam badge in Corp history.
FirstTimeCatMan
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Posts: 342
Joined: March 29th, 2004, 2:07 pm
Location: 1 fast Dinosaur

22 Clues Pickle and Crackie should call it a night...

Postby FirstTimeCatMan » May 4th, 2005, 2:31 pm

[quote]Cops are very good in bed[/quote]
[quote]One gun in the sack is quite enough.[/quote]

[quote]I beg to differ.[/quote]

Ummmm Crackie, which one are you differ`n on????
Yamaha sleds, the biggest black eye to carry the Yam badge in Corp history.
FirstTimeCatMan
Member
 
Posts: 342
Joined: March 29th, 2004, 2:07 pm
Location: 1 fast Dinosaur

22 Clues Pickle and Crackie should call it a night...

Postby Indynoon » May 5th, 2005, 1:28 am

Pickle and Crackie I have two friends that are just like your 22 points. Jeff only lets me go out with them once a year and that is even too soon for him. I swear every year that I'm not EVER going to drink that much again but every December it happens. I think I should plan a summer get together might be fun.
[img]http://www.mcphee.com/pixlarge/11247.jpg[/img]
Indynoon
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Posts: 219
Joined: December 30th, 2003, 10:21 am
Location: Iowa

22 Clues Pickle and Crackie should call it a night...

Postby Indynoon » May 5th, 2005, 1:28 am

Pickle and Crackie I have two friends that are just like your 22 points. Jeff only lets me go out with them once a year and that is even too soon for him. I swear every year that I'm not EVER going to drink that much again but every December it happens. I think I should plan a summer get together might be fun.
[img]http://www.mcphee.com/pixlarge/11247.jpg[/img]
Indynoon
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Posts: 219
Joined: December 30th, 2003, 10:21 am
Location: Iowa

22 Clues Pickle and Crackie should call it a night...

Postby mach1mikeM1M » May 5th, 2005, 1:56 am

Crackie your just jealous of this one.LMAO
8. Pickle found a deeper/spiritual side to the dog groomer sitting next to her.
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